i am filled with anxiety. 3 weeks and things with mr. facebook are going great. perfect really. we went to dinner for his birthday last night and hung out at his place playing wii (he pretty much kicked my ass at everything except boxing). i love being around this guy...more than i have loved being around a guy in a really long time. we can have serious conversations about what we want to do with our lives as well as hang out and be silly. and when he kisses me, i completely lose it.
i'm anxious because what would such a gorgeous, smart and funny guy want to do with me? not that i have completely low self esteem, but i know a catch when i see one...and he is definitely a catch. i'm sure he could have anyone he wanted! i keep telling myself that i can's screw this one up. this is what i'm looking for in a guy and in a relationship (or whatever it is).
i wish i knew how he felt and what he wants from all of this. i refuse to go further physically with him unless i know things between us are exclusive....but at the same time, i don't want him to feel cornered into a relationship. i'd rather not know than have him hurt my feelings. i'd rather keep things going as they are and stay as happy as i am now. maybe i should start giving him the benefit of the doubt...we spend a lot of time together and talk almost daily. would he put in so much effort if he didn't eventually want something?
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