it's still blistering hot out, but, so far, i'm loving fall. i spent the last two wonderful weekends in college station and realized more than ever how much i miss that place and my friends there. they really are some of my best friends i've ever had and i cannot wait till they graduate and *hopefully* move here. i need them in my life a lot more than i realized. they get me. they know my past. they accept my stupidity with boys and let me be who and how i am.
this past weekend was ecspecially eventful at the boy end of things. friday night the ex saw TWO guys kiss me...oops. as mr. facebook approached me at a bar and engulfed me in a huge hug, the ex walked over and stood on my other side. my friends cracked up knowingly. i followed mr. facebook inside and he kissed me, just in time for the ex to walk up, stunned. that was followed by about a dozen angry/ hurt text messages. then, at the next bar, tulsa (my college best friend's brother's roommate...if that makes any sence) starts holding my hand and kissing me. oh, and of course he lives 5 minutes from me in dallas! haha. he's cute and fun and smart. so, it's great. but, of course, the ex sees us kiss. at this point i am two for two. more text messages come.
i continue the night by hanging out with tulsa. making out with tulsa. waking up on the floor with tulsa gone...and a nice akward next morning.
the next night i am pretty drunk and sick by the time the boys show up. there is no sign of tulsa, but the ex is haunting me. i had apologized earlier for the previous night, but as i run into his friends, they all say he plans to ignore me. then i see him. he is sick as well and we end up holding hands, kissing and saying "i love you" about a hundred times. looking back, it was a pretty ridiculous, drunken PDA that would not have happened if we hadn't been so drunk and vulnerably sick. i'm kind of sad it happened because it gave me false hope.
as the bars close and everyone is kicked outside, mr.facebook emerges needing a ride home. he dances drunkenly with my friends and walks with us for what seems like miles to my friends car. we hold hands. we kiss. it's dumb and ridiculous, but in my delirium, i don't care. i know he's drunk and i know that back here, in dallas, nothing will have changed.
we end up not spending the night together because his best friend and his best friend's brother are in some sort of trouble. probably better that i woke up alone.
now, back in dallas, everything is the same. as if the ex never said he loved me, as if mr.facebook wasn't all over me. as if i never met tulsa. nothing has changed, except for my heart.
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