i love and hate how certain scents bring up certain memories or just thoughts of a person. like, my VO5 hair shiner will probably always make me think of meeting H because it's slight peppermint scent smells just like his apartment.
a non-welcomed scent occurred this morning as i was trying to find a perfume to wear. i noticed a little bit left in a victoria's secret sample and quickly dabbed it on. suddenly, my nose filled up with memories of the ex (i must have worn that a lot on our second go around). i walked out of the bathroom trying to rub the scent off when i was struck by another ex reminder...joshua radin was playing on my pandora radio. not just any josh radin song, but one that the ex put on the last mix cd he gave me.
i don't miss the ex. not one drop. he's never on my mind, so it's odd when memories of him come flooding back via scents and sounds. the first thought today was- would i trade what i have now in for what i had, with him, a year ago? honestly, the only thing i do miss about him is our common interest in bands and tv shows. it was fun to have someone love exactly the same songs as me and to watch my teenage soaps with...but, otherwise, that's it. i don't miss the way i always questioned his love for me. i don't miss feeling like i came in second to his bars. i don't miss the way he'd make me feel like shit. i don't miss the love we had. if i never see him again, i wouldn't be that dissapointed. i do hope he's doing well and i still care about him. but, all my love is with H. smelling and hearing the past only made me that much more greatful for the present.
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