i am going to be a teacher...

a week ago i found out that i am going to be a high school teacher =) a high school english teacher and a volleyball and softball coach. i am still in shock and couldn't be more excited! i actually can't stop thinking about how exciting it is. and a little scary, but mainly really exciting. i have already started a box of books and decorations and have started reading bunches of books about teaching. wow. i'm about to start a pretty wild ride of shaping the minds of teenagers.

new place. new job. life is good. kind of financially scary being that i'll be going a month without a paycheck...but, i can manage. target's stock may go down though! ha.

moving...

tomorrow i am moving for the third time in two years. that seems so excessive. maybe i just can't find a permanent place here that i like. from living alone in las colinas, to with ashley in addison to alone in dallas. each year becomes such a different experience. i'm excited about my new place...it's huge, near my friends and H and i have great decorating expectations that will be fun to do together. but, worries from two years ago can't help but come back up. will i be lonely again? will i feel poor all the time? will i somehow mess something up so the whole place permanently smells like sewage? (that really happened...i think there was something nasty going on in the trash compactor. that plus kitty poop = GROSS). so, a new journey and lots of carrying heavy boxes begins again tomorrow. here's hoping that a year from now H and i move in together and stay at that place for a very long time.

abandoned for a bit.

i opened my paper journal (yes, those still exist) the other day and realized i hadn't written since october 20, 2007. so, i proceeded to write an explanation/apology for my dissapearance. then i stopped myself...why was i apologizing to a notebook? was i apologizing to the me in 10 years who will read that journal and say "wow carrie, what a jerk you were for not updating yourself on your life for 7 months." i mean, yes, important things have happened in the last 7 months...like H obviously...but apologizing to a notebook?! am i NUTS?

i haven't touched this thing in almost two months. so, just so you don't think i care more about my notebook journal, i am sorry. life got in the way and i honestly had nothing to witty to say about that.

THAT couple.

H has consistently sent me the best e-mails for the past 5 months (yes, can you believe it- i met him 5 months ago!?). everyday i get some sort of sweet e-mail, many of which would make you vomit in your mouth. here's an example, which was sent to me this morning.

"You! ARE! YUMMY!! I could just stare at you for days and weeks and months and years and the rest of my life. . . . AND I WILL!!!!
Have a great day today babe. MMMUAH!!!!"

over the easter weekend, H and i stayed on the riverwalk in san antonio. despite his battle with food poisoning the night before we left (poor guy!) he was the most romantic guy imaginable. after spending three amazing days with him, it was hard to go all day monday without him around. luckily, yesterday he had tickets the to sneak peak of the new movie "21," so i got to spend the evening with him and his friends drinking beer at the movies, which was great. we kept staring at each other throughout the whole thing and then were caught kissing on the escalator. yes, we are THAT couple. we send cheesy e-mails, are constantly holding hands and kiss in front of hundreds of people like we don't give a damn. and i don't puke in my mouth at all.

somedays

somedays i think about you and what a year has done to me. a year ago on friday i let you go. not because i wanted to, but i had to. you forced me to. you said you loved me, but even mutual friends said that an onlooker wouldn't have known it. i was crushed that i was throwing away the "love of my life," the best thing that happened to me...and to some, the worst. you blinded me. for about two and a half years i was in love with you and did not think there was anyone i could love more. noone i could love so fast, laugh so much with and be completely myself around. you are the reason that when people claim they've met "the one," i question it. you were my second love, but my first great love. you prepared me for what i have now and how honest i have become in the last year.

but he has been the one who has really changed me. challenged me. made me see who i want to be. you may have shown me what love is, but he has shown me what love should be like.

i'm glad we talk now. i can't even remember the last time we saw each other though. i don's miss you, even when i think about you. even when i think about us. i would never go back. somedays i do wonder if you wish you could go back and change how things ended up a year ago. but, everday, i'm glad they are over. i wouldn't change a thing.

where is spring????

i think i am going crazy. i hate cold rain. i've decided that i don't even like the brief snow we got. i want spring damnit! i want to read outside, workout outside, ride my bike without turning pink, wear flip flops constantly and be able to lay out and SWIM. even thinking of swimming and laying out makes me salivate. i am obsessed with the idea of heat!!!!

when i was 3.5, my family got plucked out of wyoming and inprisoned in louisiana. i had never felt such heat and humidity. i ran around completely naked because i couldn't breath. my parents would dress me and within minutes i was just in my diaper, if even that (shouldn't i have been potty trained by 3.5????) unfortunately, there is picture evidence of my nudist summer. in many of these pictures i have a lone orange mardi gras bead on top of my head as some sort of crown. strange. after 20 something years in the south, i can now say that throwing me back to wyoming would be instant torture. i'm sure i'd love the scenery, but the cold? nothankyou.

democat

keelee is a demoCAT? get it? =)