bikini lust

i am not one of those girls who goes around complaining that i am fat and i definitely don't draw attention to my inperfections. if i really cared THAT much i'd be at the gym everyday and i'd measure my weight on a scale rather than through my clothes size. i wear a small or extra small top at most places (which is weird since my boobs are big) and the same size bottom i wore my sophomore year of high school. i'm not large...although i DO have beer in my belly that enjoys being there. and now....i have bikini lust, which doesn't work well with beer hanging out in my mid-section.

there are two bikinis at victoria's secret that i am in love with (well, one that H is in love with and one that i am). so, starting in march i'm doing a bootcamp three days a week from 6 - 7 a.m. for someone who can barely wake up at 8 a.m., this is going to suck! but, H said if i stick with it, he'll buy me the bikini he likes. i've never owned a $70 bikini before (i'll stick with my target and old navy ones for $30 thankyouverymuch). motivated? YES i am. and if i stick with it, i'll also buy myself the bikini i like. six pack by summer? probably not. but, if i could feel comfortable walking around in a skimpy victoria's secret bikini this summer, i'll be pretty proud!!!! =)

100th post!

have i really written 100 posts about my love life, lack of a love life or when my love life finally fell into place? seems like a lot, but my posts have definitely become less frequent lately. do you really want to hear about how H and i went to brunch, ikea and saw a movie yesterday? want to hear about our camping trip and how a week later i still have ginormous (sp?) and painful bruises from my biggest fall yet (and trust me....i've had bad falls!). probably not. but, for the sake of boredom and the fact that the magazine comes out today (yay!), i guess i'll start writing again.

here's an update:

- i haven't talked to the ex since my birthday. isn't that crazy...and great?! and, obviously, the best thing being that i have H
- i actually haven't talkeed to any of the guys mentioned in this blog since my birthday or around that time. life got busy. i got in a serious relationship and i guess it'd be inappropriate to talk to them. is it?
- H and i are GREAT. for valentines he made me dinner, gave me flowers and lit a fire and had candles all over. i hadn't had a good valentines in three years (since the ex and i's first). H has a great way of fixing things i've lost faith in. like love. too good to be true? yup. but it's all true. hence why it's difficult to write a blog about dating....going on and on about how great H is would be very vomit inducing. =)

until i figure out what to write about that doesn't include my perfect weekends and how H is reversing all the scarring the ex gave me....bye bye!

knocked up (but not)

are there other guys out there that say things such as "first we'll get a house and a dog, and once we've proven we can parent the dog, we'll have a baby. so, i see us having a baby in 3 years?"

can you see me with child when i'm 27? i guess that's really not crazy, being that my mom was having me, her second kid, at 27. but, this is ME we are talking about, not my mom (who i think was born to be a mom). i don't like thinking about being 27 in the first place. 25 i can handle. even 26. but 27? yuck. i think that's when i'll start lying about my age.

i just hope i'm not the first of all of my friends to get knocked up. "carrie, wanna go out?" "can't, gotta breast feed." yeah, not so much.

here's hoping my feelings about this (and maturity level) change in the next few years, or H will have to find someone else to carry his baby. =)

a break in the storm

i am in between production/editing and printing the magazine and have somewhat of a break in the storm that is putting together a magazine. sometimes i love the fact that i have partial creative and editorial control over such a thing and other times i wonder what other people do to pass the time at work and if they are lonely/frustrated/addicted to other people's personal blogs as much as i am. sometimes the silence kills me, other times it makes me crave my bed. in august, if i get a teaching job, i bet i miss this silence that i get all day. but, i know i won't be lonely. either way, i think if i was teaching what i'm doing now rather than doing it, i'd be much happier. i've used my knowledge, now it's time to pass it along.